Monday, 27 July 2015 10:45

25 Reasons Why You Should Never Visit Gran Canaria

There's nothing in Gran Canaria but tourists There's nothing in Gran Canaria but tourists

Some people think Gran Canaria is a spectacular destination with everything from the world's best beaches to jaw-dropping landscapes and a vibrant local culture and food scene. They are completely wrong and here are 25 reasons why you should never visit the island.

 There is nothing in Gran Canaria except resortsDune dawn at Maspalomas


Nothing, zip, nada, it's all one big tourist ghetto 

Puerto de las nieves harbour


Made of cement and old bottles of sunscreen held together with mankini straps

The Maspalomas lighthouse at sunset


All the palm trees are plastic

Guayedra valley in west Gran Canaria


And because it never, ever rains

Agaete Valley rainbow and palms


It's so hot and dry that there are no flowers

Arguineguin tree with flowers and table


And because nobody lives here, the only food comes in packages

Authentic tapas in Gran Canaria


And we don't mean this kind of package

bananas growing in Gran Canaria


There are, of course, no local towns or villages

Carrizal de Tejeda hamlet in Gran Canaria


And therefore, no local fiestas or culture

La Rama fiesta in Agaete, Gran Canaria


There is definitely nothing to see in Gran Canaria

Roque Nublo Sunset


No mountains, no forests, no landscapes. You might find a rock to sit on, but only if you're lucky

West coast road in Gran Canaria


So, just in case you're still thinking of visiting Gran Canaria

Las Palmas city and Las Canteras beach


The beaches are always packed

Montaña la Arena beach


The resorts are dated and crowded

Gloria Palace San Agustin Chill Out bar at sunset


Even the weather isn't what it's cracked up to be

Las Canteras beach and water


Only 320 days of sunshine each year and average temps barely above 20ºC? Pfff!

Puerto de Mogán in Gran Canaria


It's not good enough, especially when the palm trees get shade all over the beach

Las Marañuelas beach in Arguineguín, Gran Canaria


And somebody put boats on the sand instead of loungers

Burrero beach



Las Palmas carnival on the beachfront


Nothing to see here

Sardina town and beach


 No no no!

Maspalomas Princess pool


Coffee comes in jars

Coffee growing in Gran Canaria


The sea is behind you. Get in it!Surfers on Las Canteras beach


There you go, it's all over; Gran Canaria has run out of sunshineRoque Nublo Stars

Published in Guide

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